Wednesday, September 28, 2005

On choices

*Originally written 28/2/2003*

I sometimes question my choices, my actions and my words. Over the years i have managed to mess up friendship after friendship on stupid arguments, faults or actions that i took in stride.
Don't get me wrong ; I do not feel guilty about those actions. Most of those people deserved it anyway. There was the ones i wanted to teach a lesson, the ones that i wanted to protect and the ones i wanted to destory. Yes, there were friends of mine that deserved to be destoryed for their own good, the same way its a lot better to tear down a building and rebuild it then it is to repair it temporarily. Not to mention the ones i had issues with, for i am not that jaded to think that all of my actions were justifiable as acts of care and concern.

There were also always those I rubbed the wrong way by being too brash or too arrogant or too ambitious or too successful -- or by not being inhibited or tactful enough to refrain from writing about my life here for the whole world to see.To this day having this diary is a cause of drama for me with all of my friends who would rather not have our dirty laundry out for the world to see. As you can see, i am still not listening to them.

I guess being a friend of mine is not an easy thing to be.


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