Thursday, August 30, 2007

Dear You know who,

This is not the post that was supposed to be here.

Instead, there was a bigger post, filled with anger and venom towards you. Four pages, listing in detail how much of a really bad friend you are, how you took me for granted, how you brought nothing but shit into my life, and a lot more angry whiny crap like that. It was mean, it attacked below the belt and it aimed to destroy any visage of friendship we had and quite possibly fuck you up. Everybody who read it warned me not to send it for those exact reasons.

Well, as you can see, I didn't post it or send it to you, but not because of those reasons. I didn't send you that post, despite the temptation caused by your provocative statements, because it would've been really cowardly to do so. The aim would've been to get you so hurt you would never attempt contacting me again, and I wouldn't have to deal with confronting you or with any more drama coming from you. Not to mention, even though it's been nothing but heartache, I did care about you a whole lot, and I do believe that the friendship we had demands more respect than an angry ranting 4 page post.

You seem to think that this is another one of our fights, and that once we sit down and talk everything will be resolved. You are totally wrong on this count. You took the friendship for granted, you weren't there when I needed you the most, and you even caused unnecessary shit when I psychologically couldn't handle it, and you don't see you did anything wrong at all. Even when you recognize that you were a bad friend, you blamed me for being too good of a friend to you. You demand forgiveness without contrition or atonement, and god knows I obliged you in the past, but no more!

This relationship is permenantly damaged, and the friendship is beyond repair. It has been for quite some time, I just didn't notice it. Or maybe I just didn't want to admit it to myself. Either way, we are through. You should know this. We can meet and talk about it, but I don't think it would be of any use. It's probably better this way.

I wish you all the best in life, and all the luck in the world. I hope you find friends who will be able to handle..well..you, and who wouldn't "give up and flee" like you said I did. I tried, but I couldn't. It was too much to care for you when you didn't care for yourself, or even act as if you cared about me. It was an abusive relationship in every definition of the word, and its expiration date has been long overdue. I hope that not everybody ends up feeling this way I do, because you deserve people caring for you and being there for you. I just regret I couldn't be one of them.

All the love in the world,

Me

4 Comments:

Blogger Andrew Brehm said...

Very good letter... I think I know how you felt.

2:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's so very sad. :-(

6:17 AM  
Blogger Exiled Fairy said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5:15 AM  
Blogger Judy said...

you are so kind ...
I've been there before ...
same reaction ... the only difference is that I couldn't say a word except thank you..

8:10 PM  

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