Thursday, April 26, 2007


"You are an ideal to me. Someone I wish I could be with but can't!"
"I just need time to think about things. Don't read too much into it"

"I gave it my all. I opened up to her. But she is confused right now, and I am partly to blame."

"You should just play. Stop trying to control things that are out of your hand."

"How is being anti-social and depressed going for you?"
"I said goodbye to her today. I needed to handle this mess once and for all, and this just gave me the energy and the boost for it!"

" You don't understand the image you project, do you? Or how they view you? You don;t get how much you mindfuck everyone else in that circle? You are a source of great confusion for them. It's what makes you so intriguing!"

"you know that if it's a choice between you and her, that she would choose you, right?"

"I figured out why you are friends with him. He is smarter than you, and you love him for it!"

"I asked you for 2 things, and I never asked you for anything. And you still couldn't do it!"

"I don't envision someone who wouldn't want to be with you! You are perfect. You make me feel safe!"

"You think she will see it?"
"You know that she is probably doing this to piss you off. Oh, and she is bored. Don't forget that!"
"It's not only that"
"Then what is it?"
"She wants to prove she has a bigger penis than mine. I say let her. She will learn her lesson!"

"You don't need anything. Howcome you never need or ask for anything? That is so annoying!"

"Everytime i try to shift through the mess another pile gets created."
"Maybe you are just a mess magnet."

"Don't try to be the innocent one. You can pretend in front of all of them, but not me! Do you want to revisit your last 2 relationships?"

"Everything you are, all the good things about you, you learned from your father."
"You don't know what you are saying!"

"What do YOU want?"

"You should walk away! Walk away Now. Anything else you do will make you guilty!"

"Why can't relationships be like what we see on TV. Boy meets girl, they like each other, Life is perfect! Why does it have to be so twisted in real life?"

Monday, April 02, 2007

Far away

I am lying in my bed, writing this, finally alone. It's finally silent around here. It hasn't been silent for days and days.

I need air to breathe...

Things have been complicated around here. Random factors jumbeling up together, random people getting entangled into each others' lives, Skeletons coming out of closets, alive, forcing me to confront relaities and pasts that I do not wish to relive or examine.

And through it all I miss you.

It's been forever since I've heard your voice, your sweet giddy laugh. It sure as hell feels like forever, even though I know that, measured in time and days, it hasn't been that long.

But I still miss you.

I know it's not hard to reach you. That you are a phone call away. That my call would be welcome, that I will get to hear the warmth in your voice that sends shivers down my spine despite of how cool and distant i try to sound, that I will end the phone call unwillingly, hating my cell's battery and its refusal to last more than 3 houres of continious talking time. And more than anything, hating the distance and oceans between us, and how I can not comfort you when your demons come knocking on your door, or hold you in my arms when you are upset or scared.

But that's the way it is.

The truth is, I keep wasting time. All the things I do, all the games I play, all the relationships and the messes I get myself involved in.. they are just someting to pass the time with. Something to fill the void I sense in my days without you...

..until the day comes when it's no longer empty!

Can't wait!